Difficult or Complex?

What is life? Difficult or Complex?

 Recently, I have had the challenges of perspectives and acceptance.  There is nothing new to me being described as an over-thinker, challenging, complex, feisty, a force and even difficult. They do tend to rub on me just a bit and leave me feeling judged.  In the course 24-hours, I was challenged yet again with this. One friend, quoting the opening line from M. Scott Peck’s book The Road Less Traveled, “Life is difficult,” in the beginning of our conversation. Later says that our relating is difficult and continues to say that I over-think and make everything about me. Yes, my life, my perspective is about me. How we related is the dance of perspectives, feelings and our history. What I find fascinating is that I had been thinking, they make everything about them. What are we mirroring for each other? Are they right, is our interacting, difficult, challenging or complex? Or is it just simple perspectives, theirs and mine? What can we create together?

Peck goes on to explain about life being difficult, “Once we truly understand and accept it- life is no longer difficult. Because once accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.” This is true transcendence. It takes us into the complex realm of the extraordinary. I feel life is COMPLEX.  If I accept that I over-think, that I am difficult, a force, challenging, feisty and complex; then according to Peck, it no longer matters! I have accepted it. In truth and in my heart, it still hurts to be judged by my friend and this keeps me tethered, like a dog chewing on the bone of self-inflicted judgment. I play the conversation over and over in my head, hearing their voice saying I’m difficult!  If I will let go of this hurt, while also accepting their perspective, does that change how we relate? I hope so.  Am I willing to accept people where they are? Accept my friend’s perspective? Accept myself? Does this then, as Peck says…no longer matter? A lot to ponder!

In these same 24-hours, I have had another friend text me that sensitivity to the universe is good to pay attention to. Identifying it as dynamic thinking. So, is it dynamic thinking or over thinking? Is life difficult or complex? If I keep it simple to just two perspectives, then I can relate it to Robert Frost’s Poem, The Road Not Taken:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Which road do I take? Which road would you take? This is the quandary of living life. Is it difficult, is it complex, is it dynamic? Friendships that challenge us, that hold differing perspectives, offer the potentiality of extraordinary growth. The caveat is that respect and trust are the foundations for open discussion, inquiry and even debate.

Have you experienced this in your relationships? How do you keep communication open with hurt feelings? Dialog is key. Owning feelings, frustrations and taking time are good practices. Until the next blog, I wish you good journey, no matter which road you take!

Blessings and Peace,

Blue Jean Oracle